Resident Evil HD Remaster is a three-year-old shine-job of a 17-year-old remake of a 23-year-old console game that I d have little problem believing was a modern release if those corridor dogs weren t seared into my memory and stained into my underoos. That those corridor dogs are stained into our collective underoos (the vast interconnected underoo network that binds us all) suggests that Resident Evil is best remembered as a scripted spookfest: a one-and-done ghost train ride.
You d be wrong, though, to make that hypothetical assumption I just invented to give my next point gravitas, you big wrong strawberry.