I’ve just come across the most recent fact to have ruined my day, and I’m here to share it with you: Did you know that the year 2004 – a time which exists in my mind as a temporal island that I was just walking through about three minutes ago – actually took place 15 years ago? It’s true, because I was able to do these nightmare calculations in my mind while watching the retrospective trailer for the newly released Metal Wolf Chaos XD – an HD upgrade of FromSoftware’s 2004 cult classic in which the President of the United States is a mech pilot. Then, having glimpsed my reflection in the empty blackness of my monitor, I turned to dust.