I’ve heard of love at first sight, but does it really count when all you’ve done is speak two or three terse lines of dialogue at someone? Uncanny Valley seems to think so, because that was all it took to make spooky apartment building owner Eve fall in love with new boy security guard (and player character) Tom. She even sent a letter inviting him to a late-night rendezvous in the rec room one evening, but goddamn it I have a job to do, and my lazy pal Buck would have busted my ass if I didn’t show up for work on time. And to be honest, I’d rather she hadn’t fallen in love with me, because then I’d still be in possession of both my arms and legs.